On Wednesday 17 Dec 2008, Melinda of Linx Monster
firstname.lastname@example.org, telephone number 800-543-4559),
sent me this email pointing out that my webpage
http://www.wargs.com/other/jenkins.html was ranked only
number 86 in the results of a keyword search:
patent lawyers in Wilkes Barre
and that by using techniques such as
"one way anchor text backlinks" she can help me improve the ranking
of my page.
She's right that executing that keyword search in any of the standard
search engines will return that page of mine, buried down in the
lower third (or so) of the results. Which, as far as I'm concerned,
is entirely appropriate. Even though Melinda says that I have a
"very nice site" and I'm her favorite among all of my competitors,
it sure doesn't seem likely that she read my webpage
http://www.wargs.com/other/jenkins.html very carefully.
Hmmm. Maybe I should take her up on her offer, and try to get
that page of mine ranked higher in the results for that
keyword search. :)
Melinda later came to her senses and quit Linxmonster. See
here. She didn't come to all her senses, because
she appears to believe that all someone has to do is say "oopsie" and
all the damage is erased. She doesn't appear to understand that when
you find yourself in a hole, the best thing to do is stop digging.
While Melinda's offer to subject my website, or one or more of its
webpages, to "search engine optimization" (which is what the technique
is called) was not the first such offer I had received, it was the first
one which was silly enough to get my attention. Apparently these
"search engine optimization" people believe that because it is (at least
theoretically) possible to do it, that I would like to have them do it
for me, for a fee of course. And they further apparently believe that
they have the right to fling their crap at me, by sending me emails
touting their services.
Well, they do have that right, the right to fling their crap at me
by sending me emails touting their services. And I have the right
to laugh at them for doing it, and to encourage you and others to
laugh at them as well.
Offers of search engine optimization, and other techniques to jazz up
my website, include:
- Hegley Ball,
email@example.com. Note that the email, as received,
stops at "This special SEO program includes:", and didn't tell me
what it includes.
- Paulina Gibbs,
firstname.lastname@example.org. Let's see, this mail came from or through
a compromised Peruvian machine (IP address 220.127.116.11, listed in the
CBL and UCEProtect, etc.). Really reassuring. Nevertheless, I wrote
to Paulina (see here) to see what she could do
for my site. Apparently nothing, because she didn't respond.
email address email@example.com,
telephone number 1-888-359-5553, extension 101. A visit to their website
that it's a front for
which doesn't inspire confidence -- apparently we're all cattle
to be driven. Cattledriver.com appears to have had some problems in the
past which may or may not have been resolved. See
Personal-seo.net and cattledriver.com share an address and telephone
number with a "bullet-proof" email hosting company called
Nevertheless, I wrote to express my interest
- Mallory Vesilo,
firstname.lastname@example.org. Email sent 27 July 2009.
- Mallory Vesilo,
email@example.com. Email sent 10 Sept 2009.
Apparently Mallory Vesilo interprets silence on my part as needing
reinforcement/repetition on his/her part. Notice that the "discountID" is
identical in the two messages ("745714"). I don't know if this discountID
refers to me or to Mallory. Presumably another similar turd will be
dropped into my inbox in early November.
- Extreme Websites,
Even though it's fairly obvious that I went to some effort to make my
website boring-looking, and that I want to keep my website boring-looking,
that's apparently not good enough for some pinhead marketers who want me
to spend money with them to make my website "sticky". Eww. Or, in this
case, EWW "Extreme Website Works", the name of their company.
- "Logic + Aesthetics in Web Design",
Apparently Logic and Aesthetics do not preclude sending unwelcome and
unsolicited email messages.
IS your website ready for the busiest shopping season of the year?,
email address firstname.lastname@example.org.
1-714-553-1005. More from the EWW pinheads.
- Jessica Fitchford,
Ignitemarketing.org appears to be the mothership of a "Bingo
affiliate network", whatever that is -- it apparently has something
to do with Paris Hilton (?!?). Looks like Jessica needs to
learn how to spell "approxiamately" :)
- Mahboob Kadir,
email@example.com. I'm supposed to set up reciprocal links
with a Pakistani spammer? And
crosslink-builder.com facilitates his spamming? Sheesh.
- Jodi Lemuel or Loriann Worth,
email address firstname.lastname@example.org
Let's see how many confidence-builders there are in this email message:
(1) She doesn't know whether her name is Jodi Lemuel or Loriann Worth,
(2) Or what her email address is,
(3) The snail-mail address (1230-5 Madera Road, Simi Valley, CA 93065)
is a "The UPS Store" franchise,
(4) The email comes from/through the server of a Russian freemail service,
(5) The Reply-To: address is at an entertainment and talent-based social
network in India,
(6) It's kind of hard to evaluate her claim that her "internet marketing
company is consistently on the first page when you search on Google for our
primary search term 'SEO Company'" when she doesn't give the name of her
(7) "Gurantaneed"? "I would be please"?
Need I continue?
- Marc Schneider,
email address email@example.com.
This spammer has been around for a long time. See
here. His spam
company used to be called "Global Vibration Inc.", same snail-mail address,
same phone number.
- Lydia Prescott,
email address firstname.lastname@example.org.
"I recently came across your email or website ... " She doesn't know which?
email@example.com. His email says "Take a look at my work",
but doesn't include any information on where his work can be found.
While he may "advocate the use of web standards and usability", he doesn't
respect any of the email standards against spamming. He's from near
so why he sent his spam through the mail server of a Danish social
networking site (frompo.com) is a mystery. English doesn't seem to be
his native language, though ("please contact me for get big discount").
In an effort to stir up trouble, I reported John's
spam to all the appropriate spam-complaint addresses, and also CC:ed
"firstname.lastname@example.org". See here for
my report email. John then wrote back saying he couldn't access his
gmail account, and to write to him at
See here for John's email message.
Well, gosh, John, maybe there's a reason you can't access your gmail
- Super Sites,
"Not all websites are created equal". More from the EWW pinheads.
- Social Media Management,
email address email@example.com.
The street address these pinheads used in their email
(in Fort Lauderdale) is the same address the "cattledriver"
pinheads (see above) used.
- The SEO Results Team,
- Gay Real Estate Directory,
- Mark Jain,
- Monty Sharma,
Why would someone allegedly located in Camarillo, California, send his
email from Terra, an ISP in Chile, and use a Reply-To address at
Ibibo.com, in Harayana, India? And what does "Guranted" mean?
- Fay Needham, of "Market Makers",
The techniques and language used in this email are very similar to
those used by the "cheap rooms in London" email referred to above.
William Addams Reitwiesner